


Of Crait, Conscience and Consequence

by bluntblade



Series: In My Head and On My Mind [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A day in the life of the Resistance, Angst, Appropriate Use of the Force, Guilt, Jedi Wisdom, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Rey as therapist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22016788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluntblade/pseuds/bluntblade
Summary: With the Resistance adrift and rebuilding, Rey is approached by Poe for help dealing with the fallout from his mutiny. Which puts Rey in a difficult spot - because while she's more than ready to fight and fly, Jedi wisdom means learning on the job.Now with some lovely artwork by Yinza.
Relationships: Kaydel Ko Connix & Rey, Kaydel Ko Connix/Rey, Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Rey & Rose Tico
Series: In My Head and On My Mind [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1719016
Comments: 26
Kudos: 21





	Of Crait, Conscience and Consequence

There were things, Rey knew well, that were expected of a Jedi. Courage, strength, skill in the melee - it figured that she would be called upon to lend those soon, with the Resistance gathering itself again. But wisdom, _Jedi wisdom_ … she hadn't been ready for anyone to request that.

Poe had made the overture during a stopover on a backwater world, while he and Rey overhauled his salvaged X-Wing. It was a New Republic fleet model, ostensibly more advanced than his old craft but missing some of the custom modifications which Poe prized. 

"Are you going to get another burst-accelerator?" she asked.

"I doubt it," said Poe. "It was handy at D'Qar, but the gees nearly caved my chest in. We need fighters to manoeuvre well, not go tearing off. On which note…"

Rey looked up at the reinstated commander. Poe had put down his tools, and seemed to be wrestling with what he wanted to say.

"We've got people that need upkeep as well as weapons and ships. And I feel bad for asking for help, because in this case it's my fault."

Rey frowned. "Is this about Crait?"

Poe nodded. "My little mutiny, and all the mess that caused. I dragged a bunch of others into it and some of them have got right with themselves since, but not all. Particularly - well, have you met Kaydel?”

“Lieutenant Connix?”

That made a sort of sense, she supposed. Most of Poe’s supporters had been pilots; his own squadrons taking his orders over Holdo’s during the First Order pursuit. They’d had their fellows to work things out with, and Poe to take overall responsibility for the mistake.

And of course, not all of them had left Crait. Rey shuddered, recalling that Finn had very nearly died out on the salt too, and all for nothing.

But back to the matter at hand. Connix. As Poe explained in between bouts of wiring, the lieutenant didn't inhabit the same chain of command as the pilots and hadn't had any sort of debriefing afterwards.

“Normally she'd be a matter for the General. But Leia… heck, you've seen more of her than I have. She's busy, all the time, and she hasn't been the same since her little spacewalk. Don't think she can be ever again - I mean, can you imagine? Void exposure at her age, she should have been in bed for weeks, somewhere stable. Not this. Ah, is there a Harris wrench down there somewhere?”

“Here. Catch.”

“Much appreciated.”

“So, you want me to debrief Connix? I don't even have a rank here.”

“Kaydel, Rey. Think of her as Kaydel. Right, that's me done for now and I need lunch.” Poe swung himself down from the X-Wing. “And no, don't even think of it as a debriefing. I’d just like you to talk to her.”

Rey eyed him warily. “Why me?”

Poe flicked a thumb toward the rear of the fighter, as BB-8 was lowered back to the ground. “Because someone keeps talking about how kind you were to him.” BB-8 blurped an affirmation of sorts. “Exactly. Come on buddy,” said Poe, now packing up his tools. “Plus I've been thinking about leadership and examples."

"Hard for you not to be, I expect."

"Right. Well, I'm thinking we've got a Jedi here, who's mostly holed up reading or fixing up machines. We could do with you spreading a little hope."

Rey was nonplussed. "By talking to people? How do you think that's going to help?"

"I got a feeling," he laughed, before taking off to the canteen, BB-8 rolling along at his heels.

She asked Finn about it during their spar. Finn had found some spare support rods and made himself a practice weapon - something which resembled the Stormtrooper truncheons he was used to wielding. He was good with it, enough to keep Rey on her toes.

It was enjoyable to have someone to train with, but as for Poe's suggestion, Finn had no answers.

"That's because he has no frame of reference," Rose pointed out later. They were tinkering over spare armour pieces. A few of Poe's pilots had acquired them during a recruitment mission - something involving gladiator pits - and Rose thought they might fit a Jedi better than anyone in a fighter cockpit.

"How so?" Rey asked, trying a vambrace on. Flexing, she saw the movement pull at the scar on her upper arm. The detached sleeve look might have to be a casualty, going forward.

Rose waited patiently before replying. "Finn was a Stormtrooper, Rey. If anyone in that environment disobeyed an order, either they got executed-" she shuddered "-or they'd have to run."

"I see your point. Well, what do _you_ think?"

Rose smiled. "I think it's a good idea, but you're looking at it wrong. Look, I had a sister, and that taught me that sometimes what you need to do when people say "talk to someone" is "go listen to them." See what Kaydel has to say, and see if you can make something out of that that'll help."

"That… makes sense. But how do I ask?"

"You'll figure it out," Rose smiled. "Gotta run, but we can carry on with this tomorrow. Go catch Kaydel, Rey - the Force'll be with you."

The Force… well, as far as asking questions went, that didn't exactly inspire confidence. She recalled a feeling of cold, hard fingers digging into her head, peeling layers away and leaving her exposed until she found the ability to push back.

She was perched up on a gantry with one of the old Jedi texts, when she finally spotted Kaydel. She was wearing a camouflage poncho and had her hair tied back. The effect was flattering, but left her rather anonymous compared to her old look.

It might well be deliberate. The other girl moved uncertainly, at once uncomfortable in the throng and seeking to disappear in it. Rey knew that feeling well enough from Jakku.

And there was one thing that swam up through the memories. _I feel it too._

Ren hadn't realised how true that was until it bit him on the arse, of course. But maybe that was the point. It didn't have to be a weakness for Rey. Maybe she could turn it to her own purpose.

She covered the ground too quickly. "Lieutenant?" 

Kaydel spun round, looking like a cornered animal. _And now it looks like you chased her down, because that's precisely what you’ve done._

"I mean Kaydel. I mean, hi. I…" _kriff…_

Kaydel didn't look any less terrified than Rey felt, which was a consolation of sorts.

Rey put her hands up a little, trying to mime what she couldn't find the words for. "Can I just take that all back, please?" Deep breath. "Hi, I'm Rey."

Kaydel's shaky smile probably matched her own expression. "Err… hi. I'm Kaydel."

"It's good to meet you." _Oh, she's pretty. Kriff, maybe I should've hit her with a stick like I did Finn._ "Erm, Commander Dameron asked me to find you and have a chat."

So much for putting her at ease. Kaydel blanched. “He asked you… Stars’ end, is this about Crait? About the mutiny?”

“Whoa.” Rey laid her hands on the smaller woman's shoulders. People were starting to look. “Let's just,” she said, turning Kaydel and gently guiding her out of the canteen, “find somewhere quiet, shall we?”

She tried to slow her breathing, willed her heart to stop hammering. 

They'd gone twenty paces and turned a corner before she dared speak again. “Poe wanted me to talk with you. It's not a reprimand, and I think he asked me so it can't be official.”

Kaydel wasn't panicking, but she was still wary. “So he wants you to, what, lend me some Jedi wisdom?”

Rey let her laughter come bubbling up to the surface. “Wisdom? Me? We're the same age, Kaydel. No, I just want to listen. I want you to feel like someone understands. And I've… I've got an idea for that."

Connix started to relax a little, and Rey took that as an encouragement. "So, are your quarters nearby, or are we walking totally the wrong way?”

Her hand shook a little as she raised it. She remembered the cold chair, the restraints, the mask leering at her… _No. Don't think of him, think of Luke_.

"Breathe," she heard herself say. "Just breathe." They'd pulled two chairs up close in Connix’s quarters. Something in the room gave it a mossy, peaceful scent that reminded Rey of Takodana. That helped.

"Now relax." She brushed up against the lieutenant's consciousness. "Feel that, Kaydel?" The girl nodded, her eyes shut. "That's me, that's all there is to this. You're in control here, it's your choice to let me in."

Taking hold of Kaydel's free hand, Rey closed her eyes. "Ready?" _You're not probing, you're just looking. You're only seeing what she wants you to._

When Kaydel yielded, it was like standing front of a tank of water - if the glass suddenly fell away. It struck Rey like a wave, like slipping past Ren's defences and plunging into his own tumult. Again she was caught in a whirl of emotions - confusion and indignation surfaced quickest. Poe Dameron, the hero of the Starkiller assault and Kaydel's friend, belittled by a woman who they only knew by reputation, with the most ridiculous hair. It had seemed like the obvious thing, the _heroic_ thing, to pitch in on the little deception which had sent Finn and Rose to Canto Bight.

It had been an easy step to mutiny after that - Poe had led them, just as he'd told Rey. And she saw the faces that Kaydel projected onto him; he was Luke, he was Han, he was Leia, even, in all their vigorous, impetuous, infallible youth.

But then Leia’s face surfaced again, and this time it looked as Rey knew it. Lined, careworn, and for Kaydel, etched with disappointment as she lowered the gun with which she'd stunned Poe. Kaydel felt herself seem to shrink. Rey saw her trudge aboard the transport ship, watch Leia's conversation with Holdo and see the warmth and trust they shared. She felt the gnawing doubt set in, down in Kaydel’s stomach.

And then the explosions started, and Rey herself convulsed. She felt the surge of horror in Kaydel as she watched transport after transport blasted to atoms, lives snuffed out by the hundred. _It was her fault._ And the anger and the grief and the helplessness and the _sheer kriffing force of her guilt welled up_ and -

“No.” Rey pulled her mind away, only to find Kaydel's forehead against hers. She was shaking violently, trying to keep her sobs down.

Rey felt a twinge at Kaydel's distress. “No,” she said again, more firmly. “You didn't kill them. Hux gave the order, and that coder sold you all out. You were wrong, but you were just caught up in things. I made pretty much the same mistakes as all of you. Here,” and she opened her own mind to Kaydel this time, reliving her defiance of Luke and all the fallout that had ensued from her actions. 

“Look and see, and feel it all. This is why Leia hasn't said anything. She doesn't blame you, she understands.” Rey opened her eyes to see Kaydel do the same. A tear crept down the other girl’s cheek, and Rey wiped it away with a thumb. “We can make good on what happened at Crait. Luke let go of his guilt and kept the lessons. Poe's on his way to doing the same. We can too, Kaydel.”

Kaydel breathed, for what seemed like the first in a long time, and mustered a little smile. “Thanks, Rey.”

Rey returned the grin. _My first Jedi wisdom._ “No no. Thank you, Kaydel.”

**Author's Note:**

> I realise this use of the Force either isn't canon because Yoda didn't use it in Ep III, or Yoda's a lazy listener.


End file.
